


flowers in my heart, fire in our memories

by sopes



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Drabble, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Poetic, Songfic, Unrequited Love, i love them so much i promise, lapslock, theres fluff for a few secs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 07:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15769788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sopes/pseuds/sopes
Summary: taeyong wants johnny to know there was no way he couldn’t fall in love.{song: watch - billie eilish}





	flowers in my heart, fire in our memories

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to the new episode of nct life–
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> sjajxhsj i had so many planned ideas and plots for other fics but yet i did this on a whim and honestly im ???? life is wild

_lips meet teeth and tongue_

_my heart skips eight beats at once_

_if we were meant to be, we would have been by now_

_see what you wanna see, but all i see is him right now_

 

 

johnny pleased taeyong with saccharine and blazing kisses that fueled their poisonously complex relationship; their lips made a waltz that sent taeyong to a reverie. he had those nebulous delusions that johnny would want to give him a shiny ring and walk their future puppies at the park until the starry night made them doze off to sleep. the constellations in johnny’s scintillating eyes made taeyong believe it was a sign of destiny. he concluded the universe had scripted the two stars to be illuminated by each other.

 

somewhere along those cheerful smiles and rosy cheeks, the pieces of a hurting secret were connecting. he should’ve known when johnny chatted with him less frequently and began arriving to the dorms drunk and sweltering with profound alcohol. the situation was foolproof, and he was heartbroken. unconsciously clutching his heart, voices abuse him with the truth untold.

 

he still lets himself pretend.

  

 

_your love feels so fake_

_and my demands aren't high to make_

_if i could get to sleep, i would have slept by now_

_your lies will never keep, i think you need to blow 'em out_

 

he hated the fact that he was conned with unfaithful affections. johnny knew everything there was to know about taeyong. he knew what exactly brought out his amorous and golden heart to light. he was plagued with insomnia, tracing a few nostalgic pictures with aged frames that ignited unforgettable memories. taeyong didn’t know how to stop an infinite blossom of love.

  

 

_i'll sit and watch your car burn_

_with the fire that you started in me_

_but you never came back to ask it out_

  

 

taeyong tossed a match on the ground as he leered at the sparks fly across accomplicing gas streaks.

 

even as the incensed blazes of reds and yellows engulfed the car, it wasn’t enough to satisfy his boiling dejection. the stem that suffocatedly hostage his ribs lives on. the marigold sprouts tirelessly, bragging with their petals until they decide to hack through his throat. it wasn’t enough.

 

not like he needed his voice as much as before.

 

before was a time of loving whispers, flimsy stutterings, joking quips, and breathing in the same air with smiles always embracing their youthful faces. but even the sky that once orbited them has faded. what’s been unsaid has been forgotten; there is nothing more to say.

 

he was bittersweet, vacillating between gazing at the blues that bubble the sky and glancing guiltily at the vehicle going in ruins.

  

_go ahead and watch my heart burn_

_with the fire that you started in me_

_but i'll never let you back to put it out_

  

 

the daffodils that infinitely smirk through taeyong’s delicate lungs lead to an expensive fate. chemistry may have taught him that the hottest flames are invisible, but no subject educated him on the scorching petals that unforeseeably take a dangerous toll on your body. on your heart. on your soul. those tiny petals are perfectly capable of taking your life like an igneous candle thinning into nothing.

 

how poetic.

  

 

_when you call my name_

_do you think i'll come running?_

_you never did the same_

_so good at giving me nothing_

 

if johnny wanted to fix what’s been spilled and spoiled, taeyong would neglect the terrible things he had been told, forget they even existed, run adorably to his chest and wrap his hands around the broad shoulders he yearns for. but the brighter the light, the darker the shadow.

 

taeyong wasn’t pathetic, hopelessly romantic, but not pathetic. everyone knew he deserved better. if he couldn’t bury the match in his heart, the torch grows until he can’t feel anything.

  

 

_when you close your eyes, do you picture me?_

_when you fantasize, am i your fantasy?_

  

 

his heart ringed with uncertainty that told him he needed some form of closure. denial murmured about the possibility of johnny thinking about him right now. the possibility of him regretting it.

 

but taeyong can’t let a fabricated fairy tale shatter his heart.

  

 

_now you know_

_now i'm free_

  

 

johnny isn’t going to be the one to save him.

 

taeyong didn’t have to desperately wait for the charming prince to kiss him until he forgot how terrified he was with everything wrong in his life. he couldn’t have a fraud waver around with his own worries.

 

and so came the idea that left the sorrowful flowers in his bleeding heart to die: he needed to let go. he needed to burn the memories that held him back from doing so much more than sulking.

  

 

_never gonna let you back_

_let you back_

 

the daffodils didn’t wilt in vain; their last message spelled out new beginnings. taeyong stood up to face johnny one more time before their stars parted ways. he knew this was final; there would be no “i love you” to magically salvage the burns he had suffered through.

 

“at least you gave me the chance to be yours.”

  

 

_& burn._

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed this short disappointment stay tuned
> 
> yodel @starryyxy on twitter


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